Rock Star Crushes

I look back on my days as a young woman and like to reminisce about my past loves. The majority of my significant relationships have been with Rock Stars. These boyfriends have caused happiness, admiration, frustration, heartbreak, and eventual resolution. I must also note that all of these relationships have occurred completely in my own mind. I've listed some of the more memorable ones below, chronologically:

MCA, the Beastie Boys:

I remember being quite young and seeing the video for "Sabotage." I didn't know why, but this guy made me feel strange. A decade and a half later, the Beastie Boys still make me rock out, in no small part due to MCA's great lyrical delivery and pure sexiness. This crush is hard to describe, as MCA doesn't posses that typical "Rock Star" look. He's actually fairly clean-cut in appearance, and I think that's the charm; he's normal but manages to spit some of the wittiest rhymes ever recorded.

Robert Plant, Led Zeppelin:
This one is predictable, Robert is the epitome of Rock Star. I'm not gonna go into details with this one because a) everything I'll say is already obvious, and b) it'll get me too worked up to get any work done after this lunch hour is up.

Dan Hawkins, the Darkness:

You may remember "I Believe In a Thing Called Love," one of the most memorable songs of 2004. If you do, Dan was the man behind the campy genius of the Darkness. He was not the flamboyant frontman, but, rather, the more obscure rhythm guitarist. This crush was long-lived and intense, mostly because Dan seemed like a normal guy just trying his hand at fame. It didn't work: the band broke up several years ago. Dan is no longer a Rock Star, and I no longer have a crush on him.

Dan Auerback, the Black Keys:

Dan is one half of the blues rock outfit the Black Keys; he also possesses the whole of my heart. This love has nothing to do with Dan's appearance. Again, not very physically Rock Star--Dan is slightly chubby, not outrageously good-looking, and hails from the decidedly normal state of Ohio. His voice and musical skill are mind-blowing, however. The Black Keys just released the full-length "Brothers" and I long to be Dan's "Next Girl," heck I'd die a happy woman just to be his ex-girl.